Search me, O God, and know my heart: try me, and know my thoughts: And see if there be any wicked way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting.                 



This month is a special time for prayer, it’s the beginning of lent which I think everyone should take part in whether you are Catholic or not. The Lord our God give up his life for all our sins so surely we can sacrifice 40 days and stay in faith and pray. I was reading this on (Christopher J. Hale). And I quote, In an annual Lenten message, the pope writes, “whenever our interior life becomes caught up in its own interests and concerns, there is no longer room for others, no place for the poor. God’s voice is no longer heard, the quiet joy of his love is no longer felt, and the desire to do good fades.” He continues that, “We end up being incapable of feeling compassion at the outcry of the poor, weeping for other people’s pain, and feeling a need to help them, as though all this were someone else’s responsibility and not our own.”But when we fast from this indifference, we can began to

feast on love. In fact, Lent is the perfect time to learn how to love again. Jesus—the great protagonist of this holy season—certainly showed us the way. In him, God descends all the way down to bring everyone up. In his life and his ministry, no one is excluded.

“What are you giving up for Lent?” It’s a question a lot of people will get these next few days. If you want to change your body, perhaps alcohol and candy is the way to go. But if you want to change your heart, a harder fast is needed. This narrow road is gritty, but it isn’t sterile. It will make room in ourselves to experience a love that can make us whole and set us free.

Connect As One

 Toothless, hair out of place you look different, all of that shouldn’t  matter because that’s not who we are. In this world we chase after lies and love what is worthless, judge each other on appearance and how we live, we never give our neighbor a chance if they don’t look or act like us we turn them away . Before it was hard for me to except someone that was different or I didn’t understand I didn’t want to be around them and I choose not to be bother. 

There are a lot of thoughts I deal with every day, people always say they “have to stay on top of my game” literally , I do because every day is different I could get up this morning and be so happy , my day is bright ahead of me even if you say the worse thing to me, I will smile and say no worries or it could be the opposite, sad and I have no idea what it’s all about. Like a year ago every time I am alone home or close my eyes I will see this man waiting for me I don’t know how I know that he is waiting I just know, at first I was scared, I talk to my friend about it and she didn’t know what to make of it and also I find he was very faint at first but the more I talk about him he would get more apparent , he also would stay in the in between holding his hands drop in front of him and staring at me in the distant.

So one day I was watching tv and I heard Joel Osteen say “what you are thinking do not bring it to light” that’s when I realize it was all in my mind I had to get but into church and I did. I know I have to keep my thoughts fixed on God,  I am confident that everything is going to be ok even if I am sad or thinking to hard about anything I will say to myself it’s going to be ok. And that’s what I live by each and every day. I find now as I’m moving towards God I had to change a lot of things , as you know being of this world the flesh is weak and as much as we try to do right and live by his commandment sometimes  it’s seen so hard and I wonder, how can I give so much power to a diet?  or even going without eating anything sweet for a whole year and can’t commit to  one commandment. So I pray a lot for this and I find comfort in it. I see clearly now,  like I am not mad if any disappointments  come my way I’m very grateful for them and my blessing . I try very hard to be understanding to every one feelings, doing this full me and I am happy in that moment. I dream one day that I was waiting for the train in the station it was an outside over head station and the train was coming towards me but, soon as it gets near it started to crumble the wind was so strong  everything was just crumbling or turning to dust, so I decided to run down the stairs but I couldn’t get out. I try so hard holding on to the walls but the walls started to crumble too and I felt the wind on my skin I got so scared first I was along and I didn’t know what was happening , all of a sudden I was floating in the air and I felt a peacefulness , it was like a very warm peaceful feeling  that take over my body  and right there I wasn’t scare any more all I feel was that peace I didn’t know anything else but that I didn’t remember anything about being scared.  Even when I awake I still feel a little bit of it. So I took that as a sign as no worries everything is going to be ok no matter how things turn out good or better it’s still ok.

To be able to have a conversation with my last son about God and for him to ask me questions about him is my icing on the cake, I see he is finding his way and I know he will be bless. Every time we are together that’s mostly what we talk about I feel so much power we connect on a lot of levels and in the moment everything look bright and I can see a little further. I am getting to understand the way of our father a little more now I know I have a long way but, I’m on my way. When ever we are ready we can follow him it’s all up to us  he don’t  force us , but when the time comes he is there with open arms. His world is one big connection and we all fit in it as one, if only we can find that connection in each other. But until we truly know who we are and our purpose in life then we will love one another as ourself God is great.

MY Gran Gran’s Coffee

It was five of us growing up and my gran gran would always give us coffee first thing in the morning right after we brush our teeth. She would pound the coffee beans in a mortar pestle and then brew it in a small sliver coffee pot, then she pour it in a cup and give it to us, not to strong and slightly sweetened, and  just enough to taste the love. I remember drinking coffee from the time when I was ten, I know that is a pretty young age to be drinking coffee but my gran gran coming form St.Lucia and I guess they do things differently, but let me tell you that was the best tasting cup of coffee I ever taste. Being drinking it for so long I was hook I had to do something and giving it up was out of the question, this is the only piece of memory I hold on to of my grandmother, so I decided to find a place for it and knowing how much she love going to church, this lady would go to morning mass and midnight mass and by the way she was in her eighties, so now I only drink it in the Lenten season which is great, with every sip I take she is right next to me enjoying every bit of it, thank gran gran God bless.IMG_2610


Words, it’s what ever you want them to be comforted, loving or hurtful. We all call one another things that we wish sometimes we could take back if only we did walk away, but the good thing is we can change, we can think before we speak. If you know you’re not going to say something nice, walk away or even saying a little pray to yourself can work magic. A lot of times people get comfortable in a conversation and talk bad about someone maybe about they color the way that person talk or dress what ever the case maybe, then the person finds out and you say I’m sorry and think that’s ok but it’s not. You don’t know what that  person is going through at the moment and you’re saying hurtful things don’t make it better. You don’t have to tell  everything you hear, even if something was said about you don’t feed into it, think about why would anyone say hurtful things, maybe the person is going through something or they could be insecure or they just having a bad day, and don’t know how to get themselves out of it. So to them putting  someone down to get a quick fix for their problem seem ok. Some of us discipline ourselves into working out in the gym 3 times a day or getting up very early in the morning to exercise, so let us start disciplining our thoughts and see how it feels. You have these thoughts coming into your head find something that works for you, instead of saying something you will regret try smiling or take it to the lord in pray, God bless.